Nobody has ever healed anyone.

A true healer simply remains fully present as the storm of healing rages, providing a safe field in which unfamiliar and intense energies can be felt, bound-up emotions can be released, and we can come out of time together, out of the drama and chaos of My Life, and breathe into our bodies, fall into our own being, reset, recharge, simplify, rest.

Healing is not a destination, nor a special power in the hands of a few. Healing means recontacting That which is already whole, beyond the healer and the healed - our true nature, simple and beautiful and ever-present.

 Another note... to send off into the ethers! Blowing a kiss in the breeze, with a hope it reaches you. I am so sure of my love for you that at times, I feel it radiates out of my eyes and weaves a golden web of the letters of your name around me. When my heart is so full and you come in sight, I hide my eyes from you...walk a little faster to avoid looking at you. This, a one sided love story is also love! I win everyday, I lose everyday! My ONE wish is for you to be happy in moments of joy, strong in moments of sorrow, and to let your kindness and compassion touch evryone you meet. I give you all the love in my heart for you to share with others, I do so silently, far away from you... sitting quietly in a corner.... saying your name, smiling and feeling my heart just burst with the bliss of a feeling one is sure of. What strength this surity gives one! Pls smile, shine and walk like a king! For that's who you are, in my eyes! Okay, madness expressed. LOVE YOU! Bye! Until next time! :) 

Wishing the one I love a wonderful 2023! Who except a broken heart will understand the bliss I live with!!! You are not with me... you don't even know how much I love you. But I do! and that is so beautiful... it gives me the strength to smile and shine, seemingly without reason, and I smile some more because I know the reason!  What I feel for you is beyond words, beyond expression. Just know that when our eyes meet... the world fades and a universe of bliss and blessings emerges. Stay happy, stay healthy.... wishing your life to be full of bliss and delight and abundance! For me, I just wish I see you once in a while! I LOVE YOU!!!

It's my birthday! And I got the best birthday present ever... your smile!!! Was it my imagination or did you smile when you looked at me? :) I was already head over heels and now I am heels over head LOLOL the bliss of being in love... the sweet sorrow of never being able to tell you, or to hold your hand or to give you a sweet kiss... just to love you silently, profoundly and forever... I would never change my fate for another... for in loving you, I have found my reason for life... I live with a constant smile and your name echoing in my heart! May I always get to see you the days that I do and to see you happy and healthy! Bas... 

 FOR THE ONE I LOVE!

Think of me when you're lonely, 

because with my thoughts,I will keep you company.
Think of me, when you need love,
because I have so much to give you.
Think of me when you need a kiss,
because with my lips I would give you so many...
Think of me at least a second in the day.
because I never stop thinking of you.

So mnay hands to hold, yet I only want to hold yours...

So many voices to hear but I want to hear just yours...

So many arms to be in, but I want to be in yours...

So many eyes to look into, yet I I only want to look into yours...

I could be in love with so many hearts... but I have lost my heart to you!

 “As fire is the test of gold, adversity is the test of men.” ~Seneca

Nothing will test your character more than a cruel twist of fate. Sometimes fate dictates that the only way is through the abyss. And the abyss is not gentle. Sometimes you must be burned by the fires of hell before you're vulnerable enough to feel the healing light of heaven.

In those times it is good to have a healthy disposition toward bad experiences. It’s good to employ a birds-eye view perspective on the overall adventure; to implement the overview effect on one’s life.

Sure, we would all rather have good experiences rather than bad ones. But true adventure is never just rainbows, roses, glorious victory, and slain dragons. Most of the time it's dark skies, hot thorns, dismal defeat, and bloody wounds. And it is perhaps even more adventurous because of that fact.

You have more to learn from a so-called bad experience than from a good one. When you’re able to learn from the bad experiences and embrace them as a vital part of the journey, you’ll be better prepared to transform the bad into the good and the lows will be seen as adventures that make the highs even more rewarding.

The few days in a year that I get to see you everyday have passed. I have gathered in my heart all the moments that I saw you. I sit by myself, listen to some cheesy songs close my eyes and boom! there you are! I am learning about the nature of love. Love is silent, love is patient, love is eternal and it is a devotion. Love will destroy it own self but never wish another to be hurt for it's fulfillment. It will wait for it's fruit, even when it sits in a desert. Love may wish life to be different for self but NEVER at the cost of it being difficult for the beloved. And that is my thought. My heart breaks everyday, I cry everyday because I miss you but mever a prayer leaves my lips that my love maybe fulfilled at any cost, without consideration of people that may get hurt. The way my heart & soul recognises you is something beyond my will... but what I wish for, what I think is something I can work upon... and I dream, of a moment, maybe soon, maybe in another lifetime... when the stars align and the Gods bestow on my love this moment... where you will be in front of me, a small smile on your lips and your arms wide open and I will, with all my love & trust, walk into them and we will be happy forever!! hahahaa the bliss & madness of being a broken heart!!! Majnu here! Laila where???  Be happy, be the best you can be!!! 

 Falling in love with someone just waking up one day and realising that there is another human being who you just adore, no forcing, no trying, no conditions, just love... just living even away from them even with them not knowing yet loving loving loving them with all your heart and soul. Maybe not your body but knowing who you are for how awesome is that? I see people in relationships who are just together just for the sake of it. I may not be in a relationship with the one I love... but I DO know who I love! 

It breaks my heart everyday yet it also fills me with life at the same time! Knowing I hold you in the most precious thought and intention, how much you your well being your smile means to me! I live with this love filling my heart... I kiss my own hands like they be yours. I smile at the whole world because I somehow want the warmth to reach you... you may not know and I dont even want you to now. But it makes me happy just to sit alone say your name and tell the air around me that I love him! In the eyes of this world, I am crazy! But I'd rather be crazy than compromise, I'd rather have courage and be alone than give in to fear and be with someone just because I dont want to be alone. And I am doing it, I am... shaking trmebling sometimes anxious with fear... I am doing it!

Slowly, this fear is leaving my heart... and love is taking its place. And it is all beacuse of you... the man I love! 

As the new year unfolds, I wish for you all that you desire... all your dreams coming true and for me juts wish me love just wish me courage.

I LOVE you!

 “A happy life is impossible, the highest thing that man can aspire to is a heroic life.” ~Arthur Schopenhauer

Happiness is not a given. It takes discipline. When the chips are down, and your back is against the wall, happiness is an action verb. Being happy is about collapsing into something primordial inside yourself. It’s surrendering to the primal howl of humor.

It’s a letting go of expectations and just being present with that innate, awe-inspired, drunken smile within. That place of inner-Zen, where your heart leaps over itself like a little red trickster god despite the worst the universe can dish out.

The most important truth is this: you do not need a reason to be happy. Happiness is unreasonable. It comes from bearing unhappiness with courage.

 “Impermanence is more than an idea. It is a practice to help us touch reality.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh (RIP)

The best way to meditate on impermanence is in solitude, away from the things of man. Because it’s only in solitude where we realize that we are never truly alone.

Solitude teaches us how everything is connected to everything else in a terribly beautiful dance of impermanence. It teaches us how nothing remains the same.

Impermanence doesn’t let you off the hook. Indeed, “the hook” IS impermanence. It drags you kicking and screaming into the profound realization that you are not merely a speck in the universe, you are the entire universe in a speck. Sure, it’s all so terribly fleeting. Nothing lasts. Nothing is permanent. You will die…

But not yet. Unless you choose to live a dead life. Meditating on impermanence puts it all into proper perspective.

But it will also break your heart. And that’s okay. It probably needed to break. Just put it back together again stronger than before. Everything is transient. Everything is fleeting. On a long enough timeline, reality is ephemerality.

Meditating on impermanence will teach you humility, which will teach you humor, which will teach you how to honor the flash-in-the-pan impermanence of your life.

 

 My greatest desire in all the world is to hold and be held,

to Connect with a capital C.

To heal and be healed.

To see and be seen.

To love and be loved----fully. Completely.

Here I am....shouting it out to the world,

to all who read or don't read my words.

To all who take the time to connect. Or not.

I want to love with a capital L.

I want to crack wide open all that stands

in the way of true Truth and true

Love and True Colors.

I want to to hold your heart in mine

like it is my own. Because, really, it is.

Will you let me hold your heart in mine

just for a minute

just for one beautiful breath

or two?

I so want you to know how deeply

how very deeply

I Love

every single bit

of colorful you..!

 Desire vs. Cherish

'To be wanted' is a universal thing. People are vulnerable to being desired. Desiring is so primal and over whelming and people want the bigness and brightness of it. Ordinary life does not really always co exist with desire. It is hard to keep up with anything intense when you have to work, pay bills and worry about your family all the time. In healthy relationships, cherish is what slowly follows from the sizzle. In a narcissistic relationship what follows is devaluing and discarding. Not cherishing.

To be cherished is to feel safe, to be valued and cared about. To cherish someone is to be aware of their needs in a way such that you meet people where they are at. You don’t push people to do things that are uncomfortable or rush them. You just take good care of them. To cherish someone means to balance your needs with someone elses. That idea of mutuality.

The fine art of cherishing and being cherished is something we should learn. It may look dull and unexciting but a relationship that starts off with cherishing, those are often relationships that stand the test of time.

Cherishing isn’t glamorous like cinema portrays it. Big proposals, big declarations of love, flying across the world so on and so forth. Cherishing requires, empathy, self awareness, valuation of the other person and the willingness to make adjustments for another person

So what does cherishing look like? It is listening. Really listening and shaping awareness around that. An example. You may share a vulnerability with me. I will attempt to ensure that that you’re kept safe in that vulnerability. Let us say you’re terrified to swim in the ocean, I don’t push you into it. I hear you.

Cherishing is making compromises without throwing a tantrum. It is about not pushing you in a way that feels uncomfortable whether, sexually or physically. Cherishing is about never weaponising your vulnerabilities. Cherishing is about not competing with you in a way because I feel threatened by you. Even if your success is eclipsing mine, I will still enjoy the fact that you are succeeding.

Now cherishing has to be a two way street because in healthy relationships, cherishing is mirrored. When one is a narcissist and one is a cherisher, the cherisher ends up as the care giver, and the compromise maker and the flexible one and the other party just keeps overwhelming you with big proclamations of love and may be some acrobatic sex.

In childhood not a lot of people are cherished and this carries into adulthood. It sets the tone to over value the intense dynamics of desire. Short lived moments that you have to always keep chasing. It starts to feel exciting when it comes along rather than the daily knowing that you’re important and special and cherished.

The dynamics of desire serves as a curtain that blocks us from seeing red flags that keep us stuck in an undesired space that is really hard to get out of. We all deserve to be cherished and we should all hold out for that.

On a day to day basis, cherishing is soft and quiet and looks like sweatpants and chicken soup and that my friend is the stuff of life and churns out relationships that are supportive and growth oriented for a life time

  Just so full of how much I love you that sitting and talking to you, haha knowing you will never ever know but also knowing that when we hold another just even in our thoughts with love and a wish for their joy, it reaches them... To start of... I love you. But just like the sun rises every morning to remind us of his love for us, so it is necessary to express when we love another. And sometimes, like in this case, one cannot express it directly for whatever reasons, just expressing it to one's own self gives it wings, and that is what I am doing giving my love for you wings so it reaches you, gives you a soft kiss and an inexplicable smile... without ever wanting to be known.

The time for you to know is gone... but I know how much I love you, how my one wish is for you to be happy and full of delight. How I want your life to be just all that you wish it to be! You just your being alive is my peace and relief! Oh the relief of knowing someone like you actually exists... someone kind, someone gentle, someone who feels like home and rest and love... someone who is a beautiful old soul... someone so deserving of all the love my heart holds. It is a sweet mystery of love that my happiness is you and even my tears are you and amidst both these emotions, my one constant feeling is that of gratitude. Grateful that God blessed me with the ability to see you. All my life it was like my heart was carrying a heavy burden. Now I know it was just love that hadn't found it's place. And now I am light and content because now I know who it was for. Yes I could never tell you... but I tell the stars, the moon, every bird that drinks water in my balcony, each tree that dances in the wind and share my love with he whole world... 

Sometimes I do wonder whether you ever think of me. And why my heart is yours when you barely know I exist...and what you would have said if I had been blessed with the opportunity to say I love you. It makes me smile and laugh at my silliness. I just want you to know that your smile, even if it is not because of me, is my delight and prayer... so till the next time, just remember you are loved deeply, simply, silently. 

The power of love!

 In love abides all knowledge. It is mankind's love and interest in things that in time reveals their secret, and then man knows how to develop, control, and utilize them. No one can know anybody, however much he may profess to know, except the lover, because in the absence of love the inner eyes are blind. Only the outer eyes are open, which are merely the spectacles of the inner eyes. If the sight is not keen, of what use are the spectacles? It is for this reason that we admire all those whom we love, and are blind to the good qualities of those whom we do not love. It is not always that these deserve our neglect, but our eyes, without love, cannot see their goodness.

Those whom we love may have bad points too, but as love sees beauty, so we see that alone in them. Intelligence itself in its next step towards manifestation is love. When the light of love has been lit, the heart becomes transparent, so that the intelligence of the soul can see through it. But until the heart is kindled by the flame of love, the intelligence, which is constantly yearning to experience life on the surface, is groping in the dark.

Love is above law, and law is beneath love. There is no comparison between them. One is from heaven and the other from earth. Where love dies law begins. Therefore law can never find a place for love, nor can love ever limit itself within law, one being limited, the other being as unlimited as life. The lover can give no reason why he loves a certain one, for there is a reason for everything except love.

Time and space are in the hands of love. A journey of miles will become a few yards in the presence of the beloved, and yards become miles in his absence. A day of separation in love is equal to a thousand years, and a thousand years of the beloved's presence are not even as long as a day.

If there is any protecting influence in the world, it is no other than love. In all aspects of life, wherever we find protection, its motive is always love, and no one can have trust in any protection, however great, except the protection that love offers. If a giant were to frighten a child, the child would say, 'I will tell my mother.' The strength and power of any man is too small in comparison with love's protection which the mother affords her child.

 The Simple Life~~

The older I get, the more I value the beauty of simplicity. Life for me is not about constantly acquiring more, but instead letting go of things that no longer serve me. The pursuit of materialism is a never-ending endeavour. The more you have, the more you want and the more you have to lose.

There is a beauty in appreciating the finer things in life, without needing constant external distraction. I am usually at my most spiritually balanced when I am able to sit in total uninterrupted silence, without the involvement of the mind and without feelings of restlessness or boredom.

If I get impatient with the present moment and let my mind wander towards what I could be doing instead which is ‘more stimulating’, then I know that there is something internally that is not being addressed.

The more external stimulation we seek, the more likely it is that we are trying to run away from ourselves. We should be able to live as animals do, completely at one with our external environment, without any expectations or attachment. This does not mean that we stay passive, apathetic or uninvolved; it simply means that we know when the right time is to take action and when the right time is to surrender and let go. This is how we balance or inner masculine and feminine.

As soon as we start thinking that ‘I will be happier when I’ve got this or that’ then we have already lost. Gratitude is the key. What we appreciate, appreciates. This may sound like just another spiritual platitude, but there is a raw truth embedded within this, which I have discovered to be true through personal experience.

Gratitude is truly the gateway towards happiness. One only needs to look at children in third world countries. Despite living in abject poverty, often struggling to put food or water on the table, living in cramped and unsanitary conditions, rife with disease; they still know how to smile, to sing, to dance, to fill themselves with joy and happiness. We can learn a lot from this.

In the more ‘developed’ western nations, we have been so accustomed to a life of convenience and luxury, that we have forgotten how to strip back to the basics. Our attention span and desire for immediate gratification has rendered us largely incapable of enjoying things which don’t require money, pleasure, instant hits of dopamine or even people.

Even the most seemingly ‘mundane’ tasks (cooking, cleaning, walking, gardening) can be enjoyed when met with total presence and appreciation. By slowing down and bringing awareness to each act, we can bathe in the joy of simply being alive.

Most people see ‘nature’ as a place to go to, perhaps if it’s sunny enough or dry enough or close enough. Labelling nature as if it is something that is separate from us, epitomises our disconnection from both the wider ecosystem and ourselves (the two are intrinsically connected). Where technology was once a temporary escape from the outside world, the outside world has now become an escape from technology. Offline has become the new luxury.

When we step outside the Matrix bubble and immerse ourselves deeply back into the natural world, we can find a raw beauty, humility and peace that is almost impossible to match in the fast-paced, synthetic and superficial city life.

By becoming intimate again with the natural elements and paying attention to the finer details, we will quickly realise that nature provides everything we need. There is so much diversity and complexity in the plant and animal kingdom that we couldn’t possibly get bored if we truly knew how to connect.

Take a walk out in nature by yourself and you will discover that you are not truly alone. Magic is all around us, patiently waiting to be discovered. The world reveals its secrets only to those with the eyes to see and hearts to feel.

Be content with less. Don’t be a slave to your money or possessions. Stop comparing yourself with others. Embrace solitude. Stop striving for perfection. Focus on what is good and not how things can be better. These simple, yet profound lessons will get you further than any amount of material wealth can.~

“There's a light in a woman's eyes that speaks louder than words.” And I know when I shine brightest!

What I feel for you is beyond words, beyond expression. Just know that when our eyes meet... the world fades and a universe of bliss and blessings emerges.

I love you! Been trying not to... not succeeding! So I sing dance and pray for you!

"Humne jo sunn liya... usne kaha bhi nahin" :)

 Tonight I was talking to the full moon about you...Sitting in my balcony, listening to sweet songs, I looked at the beautiful, yellow moon, hanging low. Looking like a comforting best friend. I reached out to him, gave him a hug and started to tell him about you. I told the moon about how much I love you. I told him to shine down on you...to illuminate the stardust in you so that when you look in the mirror, you see what I see! You can see why I love you...

I told him about all the simple dreams I had about the life we may have had together. I told about my wish to hold your hands, to wanting to shower sweet kisses on you every morning and sometimes nibble your ear and tickle the back of your neck! He laughed at me and called me naughty! And then smiled and said you can be naughty with the one you love.

I told him about how I would learn to make tea (or coffee) the way you liked it and how sometimes I would delibrately make it another way!! Just to tease you a little :) How I would light up every evening after you came back home from a long day... how I would try and fill your life with love, joy and the magic in ordinary, little things. I told him how much I wanted your life to be not just duty but full of life and enthusiasm... vibrant and just delightful.

Then I showed him my broken heart and all the love it held for you. He promised me that he would give it all to you. But said "I will leave a little behind for you". I shook my head and told him to take it all. As I just have to say your name and my heart is full again!

 Love is what everyone deep down longs for, but which everyone is immensely afraid of. Love is the most blissful state of consciousness one can have, yet the scariest one. Love is healing, but it can also be painful. 

Most people talk about love, but not many of them seem loving or willing to love. Love is wanted by all, but only a few dare to ever come close to it.

Love seems threatening to most people’s eyes. Why? Because love is, in a sense, death — the death of ego. To love means to let go, to surrender your sense of self and get lost in the embrace of the beloved — it means to dissolve the boundaries between the I and You. This, however, is a dangerous thing to do — from the ego’s standpoint. To the ego, love is evil, and hence something to be avoided by all means. The ego has an identity that took a long time to be built, and nothing is more frightening to the ego than that identity being taken away from it. If it’s taken away from it, then the ego will cease to exist. Hence the ego does anything to reassure itself of its identity — it tries to make its presence known all the time — and the best way it achieves that is by trying to create a clear-cut divide between itself and others. To the ego, the world is filled with egos — and egos are separate from one another. There is a big wall between me and you, the ego believes, that divides us.

In moments of love, the artificial wall between the self and other is broken down, and the illusion of separateness starts to fade away. The ego melts in the presence of love — the lover and the beloved become one singular consciousness. Feeling the burning presence of love, the ego is scared to death, and in its effort to escape from love, it’s screaming loud at you, trying to talk you away from love so as to convince you to not let go of it. 

Let Love Kill You

No matter what your ego is telling you, don’t pay attention to it. Or tell it to shut up, and offer yourself to the fire of love. Surrender to it totally. Let love be the master and be its servant. Let it destroy you completely.

Trust me, there’s nothing better in life than dying… from love. It is a sweet death, and once you’ve died as an ego, you’ll be reborn as the best version of yourself. And then your life will be completely transformed.

Once you feel the touch of love, you’ll not be the same again. You’ll not feel small, lonely and afraid — you’ll be greater than you’ve ever felt before. You’ll be more alive than you could ever imagine. You’ll be centered, at peace, and nothing will be able to disturb your inner stillness. You’ll live at ease and in love with existence.

 We are arriving at a point in time where spiritual gurus and teachers who flaunt their, “all about love” strategy for the awakening of self, will no longer be able to hide behind masks of nuanced esotericism. The counterfactual guru, the one who bathes in infinite light, swimming in the raw verbiage of their own transcendental poetry, will drift downstream, away from the depth, struggles, and awkwardness that is the human experience. The followers will stare as their master becomes so “go-with-the-flow” oriented that he/she drifts directly into what we call positive passivism. Positive passivism is when you become so deeply detached from reality that you no longer honor, potentially the most important spiritual principle, discernment/critical thinking.

Some of the students will follow their leader into a haze of naivete, while others will begin to poke and prod at the very elements that proliferated this person into power to begin with. It could become a, “What is my spiritual guru doing next to Jeffrey Epstein” moment (slightly satire).

We, as a collective, have lost connection to the fine art of spiritual skepticism. Spirituality is embodying all aspects of the self, including the animalistic instinct that is not afraid to hiss, roar, and scream when its very nature, freedom, or children (especially children) are threatened. The 90’s and early 2,000’s brought us waves of spiritual passivism, illustrating and promoting teachers who use light, love, and happiness as beacons of ultimate truth, while neglecting the individual shadow that each one of us came here to integrate, heal, and observe. This leads to a sort of disconnect, where light-hearted teachings put towards the realm of love are so out of proportion to the human shadow, that the teachers and their students dissociate from the human experience entirely.

Have you ever dissociated before? If you have ever dealt with chronic dissociation, you have probably felt a level of discomfort arise when entering into a dissociative spell. This is because repeatedly dissociating, even in attempt to marry God, is not organic to the human being. We came here to explore human sentience, not to cut ourselves off from it. A collective grouping of people who have chronically dissociated from the pure impulse, instinct, and existence of their own human nature creates an incredibly vulnerable, and dangerous setting.

The spiritual teachers I look to carry discernment as a leading principle, a guiding force and protector of their initiated esoteric wisdom. They honor my instinct and hold space for me to disagree with them, to walk to the beat of my own drum. They never intend to sculpt my mind to fulfill their egoic need for unstable emotional gratification, as that is tended to in the realm of their own shadow work, not between the relationship we carry. I will also add, I know and interact with them personally, removing the overrated starstruck haze that can serve as a distraction to the process of genuine teaching and alignment.

The integrated spiritual teacher inspires you to think for yourself, to be your own conduit/channel to divine understanding. Revel in your own truth, and all that is holy will join you, while all that is ill-intentioned will gently fall away.~