Jan 18, 2017

For my beautiful stranger... I am just happy you exist!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7Ld9npf95Q

That Love~
To swoon over the Moon,
To find countenance in the Sun,
To bathe in a mountain's early morning dew,
To be comforted by her warmth on a cold, winter's day,
Is to know that love.
To fall into a warm, natural spring,
To speak without ever saying a word,
To know, absent even the slightest thought,
To find desire in the eternal teasing of her soul,
Is to find that love.
To see beauty even in the roughest, uncut stone,
To stand tall even in the weakness of your knees,
To walk straight even when the mind fails in vertigo,
To find life when standing at death's door,
Is to discover that love.
To grasp a beauty that is silence in the chaos,
To find a smile through the veiled tears of suffering,
To know peace in the violent rages of a war,
To touch the face of heaven and God herself,
Is to finally meet that love.
It is that love for which our purpose lies,
It is that love for which our moments meet,
It is that love for which our dreams were broken,
It is that love for which our hearts do beat.
It is that love for which we seek.~

Jan 15, 2017

Love Oh Love...

"There is a desire within each of us,
in the deep center of ourselves
that we call our heart.
We are born with it,
it is never completely satisfied,
and it never dies.
We are often unaware of it,
but it is always awake.

It is the Human desire for Love.
Every person in this Earth yearns to love,
to be loved, to know love.
Our true identity, our reason for being,
is to be found in this desire.
Love is the 'WHY' of life,
why we are functioning at all.
I am convinced
it is the fundamental energy
of the Human Spirit,
the fuel on which we run,
the wellspring of our vitality.
And Grace,
which is the flowing
creative activity of Love itself,
is what makes all goodness possible.
LOVE should come first,
it should be the beginning of,
and the reason for everything."

Jan 14, 2017

Information Please...

When I was quite young, my family had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember well the polished oak case fastened to the wall on the lower stair landing. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I even remembered the number: 105.
I was too little to reach the telephone, but I used to listen with fascination when my mother talked into it. Once she lifted me up to speak to my father, who was away on business. Magic! Then I discovered that somewhere inside that wonderful device lived an amazing person — her name was “Information Please,“ and there was nothing that she did not know. My mother could ask her for anybody’s number and when our clock ran down, Information Please immediately supplied the correct time.
My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-receiver came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer. The pain was terrible, but there didn’t seem to be much use crying because there was no one home to offer sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver and held it to my ear. ”Information Please,“ I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two, and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. “Information.” ”I hurt my fingerrr-“ I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough now that I had an audience. ”Isn’t your mother home?“ came the question. “Nobody’s at home but me,” I blubbered. “Are you bleeding?“ ”No,” I replied. “I hit it with the hammer, and it hurts.” ”Can you open your icebox?“ she asked. I said I could. ”Then chip off a little piece of ice, and hold it on your finger. That will stop the hurt. Be careful when you use the ice pick,“ she admonished. “And don’t cry. You’ll be all right.”
After that, I called Information Please for everything. I asked for help with my Geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was, and the Orinoco — the romantic river I was going to explore when I grew up. She helped me with my Arithmetic, and she told me that a pet chipmunk — I had caught him in the park just that day before — would eat fruits and nuts. And there was the time that Petey, our pet canary, died. I called Information Please and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things grown-up say to soothe a child. But I was unconsoled. Why was it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to whole families, only to end as a heap of feathers feet up, on the bottom of a cage? She must have sensed my deep concern, for she quietly said, ”Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.“ Somehow, I felt better.
Another day I was at the telephone. ”Information," said the now familiar voice. “How do you spell fix?” “F-I-X.“ At that instant, my sister, who took unholy joy in scaring me, jumped off the stairs at me with a banshee shriek: ”Yaaaaaaaaaa!” I fell off the stool, pulling the receiver out of the box by its roots. We were both terrified — Information Please was no longer there, and I was not at all sure that I hadn’t hurt her when I pulled the receiver out. Minutes later, there was a man on the porch. “I’m a telephone repairman. I was working down the street, and the operator said there might be some trouble at this number.” He reached for the receiver in my hand. “What happened?“ I told him. ”Well, we can fix that in a minute or two.“ He opened the telephone box, exposing a maze of wires and coils, and fiddled for a while with the end of the receiver cord, tightened things with a small screwdriver. He jiggled the hook up and down a few times, then spoke into the phone. “Hi, this is Pete. Everything’s under control at 105. The kid’s sister scared him, and he pulled the cord out of the box.” He hung up, smiled, gave me a pat on the head, and walked out the door.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Then, when I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston — and I missed my mentor acutely. Information Please belonged in that old wooden box back at home, and I somehow never thought of trying the tall, skinny, new phone that sat on the small table in the hall. Yet, as I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me; often in moments of doubt and perplexity, I would recall the serene sense of security I had when I knew that I could call Information Please and get the right answer. I appreciated now how very patient, understanding, and kind she was to have wasted her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way back to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about half an hour between plan connections, and I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister who lived there now, happily mellowed by marriage and motherhood. Then, really without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, ”Information Please.“ Miraculously, I heard again the small, clear voice that I know so well: ”Information.” I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, “Could you tell me, please, how to spell the word ’fix’?” There was a long pause. Then came the softly spoken answer. “I guess,“ said Information Please, ”that your finger must have healed by now.” I laughed. “So it’s really still you. I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during all that time....” “I wonder,“ she replied, ”if you know how much you meant to me? I never had any children, and I used to look forward to your calls. Silly, wasn’t it?“ It didn’t seem silly, but I didn’t say so. Instead, I told her how often I had thought of her over the years, and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister when the semester was over. “Please do. Just ask for Sally.” ”Goodbye, Sally.“ It sounded strange for Information Please to have a name. ”If I run into any chipmunks, I’ll tell them to eat fruits and nuts.“ “Do that,” she said. “And I expect one of these days you’ll be off for the Orinoco. Well, good-bye.“
Just three months later, I was back again at the Seattle airport. A different voice answered, ”Information,” and I asked for Sally. “Are you a friend?” ”Yes,“ I said. ”An old friend.“ “Then I’m sorry to have to tell you. Sally had only been working part-time in the last few years because she was ill. She died five weeks ago.” But before I could hang up, she said, ”Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Villard?“ ”Yes." “Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down.” “What was it?“ I asked, almost knowing in advance what it would be. ”Here it is, I’ll read it — Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He’ll know what I mean.’”
I thanked her and hung up. I did know what Sally meant.
Author Paul Villard
Sometimes, when it gets to be just a little too much,
my mind goes to places where I imagine you are.
I imagine that we casually meet,
and suddenly, there is no distance or time...
It's just you and it's just me.
It feels so real,
I often wonder if in the same moment,
you suddenly spontaneously think of me.
If somehow,
you know that I am thinking of us together,
and it causes you to feel me.
They say love has no limitations.
I believe imaginations don't either.
Because when you are in my heart,
and my mind,
time or distance has no control.
We're together in a space where I create love.
That place where love creates us.

Nov 9, 2016

What is True Love? I’m no seer, no enlightened soul. All I know is that, to me, these things define true love. Here’s to hoping we all allow ourselves the chance to experience it.~



True Love Is Magical, Not Magic
Sure, true love comes with moments you feel you can defy gravity. You and that special person can simply be near each other and everything is perfect. Holding hands in a storm. Smiling each time they cross your mind. Looking forward to the next time you are in each other’s arms. True love is magical, but it’s not magic. Life continually moves on. Just as bad times guarantee good will follow, good times can also be followed by bad. True love does not keep this from happening. It’s not a magic spell that ensures happiness ever after. If held onto though, it will weather all storms with you. When bad times come, true love hasn’t let you down or lost it’s magic. It’s still there, riding the rollercoaster with you.

 True Love Is Faith
To be open to true love is to truly be vulnerable. It is allowing yourself that quiet ease that comes with knowing your partner honors and cares for you. It is realizing everything you do has someone’s heart attached. We can worry about the next person that comes along. We can be on guard looking for the one that comes to steal that person away. For men, this is almost ingrained into our psyche. We must defend our love and always be on guard. For those who have been hurt, it comes even harder. Step back and see this; you never lost someone because you weren’t running off everyone else, although you could definitely lose someone by refusing to have faith in them. To grow from love to true love, let go and know that if it is true love, every day they choose you.

True Love Is Reciprocal
True love comes in pairs. The same love and affection shown to you should be what you give back. It is definitely possible to love someone more than they love you. Undoubtedly, someone has loved you more than you love them. True love is both given and received. It is a mutual admiration and bind that both of you have agreed to let flourish. It may not happen overnight. It may not develop in both parties at the same time, but when true love is present, it is gloriously mutual.
  
True Love Is Accepting
True love accepts flaws and weaknesses. You know everything about that person and welcome it all. They have seen all your pieces and want to be a part of your life. Friends, family, those that mean the most to each of you are all welcome in this equation. Everyone they hold close has been a part of making them the person you adore. Sure you can love someone without loving those important to them, but true love accepts. True love welcomes any healthy relationship that has made you who you are today. Your children could just as well be theirs. Their friends matter just as much as yours.

                                  AND...

True Love Is A Choice
Love and passion. Both can come out of nowhere. You can find yourself wrapped up in someone that seems like they where made specifically for you. What comes next, is a choice. Both people choose to devote themselves to the other. Both people choose to be there through good and bad. The fact is, there are many people you could fall in love with. The plain truth is, people can choose to go their separate ways and still lead a fulfilling and happy life. True love is not being incapable of going on without someone, it’s choosing to go on with them, regardless. We go through lives living, experiencing and building. True love is looking back, holding your lovers hand and appreciating you chose to do all that together.

Nov 7, 2016

Remind me ~Jeremy Goldberg (I love this!)

Remind me to always lie with you, but never to you, and that hurt only hurts while it lasts. Remind me to hold hands but never hold back.
Remind me of love, remind me of heart, and remind me that life will not tear me apart today, but if it tries and when it does, remind me that I’m good enough to be enough for you.
Remind me that the only way to make it last is to put us first, and remind me that the past is a prelude and pain is a choice, that I’ll get knocked down but I can get up quick, and yes, I’ll get destroyed but I can rebuild again.
When you see me flailing in rough seas, coughing up lungfuls of dark waves, and I’m thinking I’m sinking because my arms are numb and I can’t feel my legs, remind me with a hushed assurance and a knowing grin, “You’ll drown slower if your chin’s up, friend.”
Remind me to have faith.
Remind me why I love you.
Remind me that the stargaze stares we share and the galaxies we wish to explore are inside, not above, that the paths we long to travel are internal, not foreign, and remind me when my dreams seem lost like faraway lands in disrepair, that you’ll hold my hand and always care.
Remind me that it’s me you think about when you wish for happily ever after.
Remind me that not all aches are bad, that black nights still shine light and even in rainstorms or when hail comes and the sky is filled with emptiness we run from, the sun is always out somewhere.
Remind me that I am filled with light.
Remind me why your eyes do such funny things to mine and how, sometimes, time stops in the shadow of your smile.
Remind me that storm clouds are just water up high in the sky, that water is needed, that water gives life, and though it may arrive in drops of sweat or tears of strife, remind me that I can heal.
Remind me to keep you close but to never go too far, and remind me that even if we feel like a lifetime stopped and stuck in its tracks like a frozen statue of our distant past, even if it feels like pointless paralysis or a beginner’s magic trick, even when we resemble an empty well all out of wishes, remind me it will be okay and already is.
Remind me that you are strong, and remind me so am I.
Remind me that you aren’t scared when, can’t run from, won’t hide, and don’t mind my pain when it’s all I know and feel and fear.
Remind me that we’ll never know how it ends until it does, and even then, it doesn’t because what we have and who we are isn’t something we can just pack up and leave behind, like some kind of shooting star in some cold and fleeting night.
Remind me how I love getting lost in you.
Remind me that you are an adventure worth taking and never forgetting.
Remind me it starts now, today, for always in all ways, and remind me to remind you of this, all of it, always in all ways.

Nov 6, 2016

A FORMLESS LOVE, FORMING


Love is greater than us. We do not generate it with words and deeds, or even intentions, but we are continually embraced by it, held in its vastness, no matter what we do, or do not.
We are married, we divorce; we are friends, we are lovers; we break up, we break together; we are born, we die; the field endures.
Nobody has ever given us love; that is the great illusion. We have simply remembered the field in each other's presence, sometimes, recognised eternity in the midst of the everyday, then credited another. Love never came from outside of us; we simply touched our own presence, fell into the love that we are, and cannot not be.
And nobody ever took love away from us; we simply forgot the field, and 'blamed' the other, and looked for love again, feeling its absence, lost in a narrative of 'lost love'. Yet love was there, even in its apparent absence; it was present, even in the loss. It cannot be broken; a wave cannot crush the Ocean.
Do not seek love, do not look for the light, but be it, offer it; the joy of loving another is infinitely greater than the joy of fearfully clinging to another's love, for deep down you know it is only an illusion that what you have always longed for could ever have come from outside of you. You are the One; you have always been the One.
The search ends exactly where it began - in presence.

Oct 22, 2016

Awareness : Sadness... embrace it!

In every moment of sadness, another layer of outdated cellular memories leaves your energy field. As each layer is released through spontaneous expressions of doubt, despair, and disappointment, the world is equally cleansed and released from the spell of unconsciousness. This may help you understand how there is nothing to fear when sadness is present. If anything, knowing the energetic purpose behind such a misunderstood emotion reminds you to slow down and relax your body, so you may see how an experience of sadness has absolutely nothing to do with the circumstances and outcomes that bring it to the surface.
Sadness is your highest transformation being recognized in progress. No matter how lonely it may seem or how devastating it can feel, sadness acts as the unsuspecting sign that a new reality has dawned within you. As this is accepted, the consuming nature of sadness transforms into the peaceful resolve of self-realization. This helps to dispel any myth about the location of awakening that many believe exists somewhere beyond the grip of sadness. Instead, Awakening is the natural recognition of your essential nature that unfolds with ease, once the healing power of sadness has been survived.
This may also help you see how, in its’ purest form, sadness is not the absence of happiness. Sadness is actually the clean-up crew of the Universe. One breakdown at a time, it sweeps every distraction out of your energy field, so the happiness that is always here can be revealed.

Oct 18, 2016

What it Really Means to Hold Space ~

Four important ways you can learn to be truly present:

‘Be authentic.’ ‘Hold space.’ ‘Be present.’ These phrases may sound vague, but they’re what the women you love really need. And here’s how you can give it.

“I just need you to hold space for me.”

This phrase may strike fear into even the most stoic male heart.

“You can’t hold space!” you may cry. “It’s space!”

But if you want to be with an emotionally intelligent, spiritually inclined, mindful woman, chances are you’ll be hearing this type of phrase. It’s becoming more and more mainstream, and whether or not you consider it New Agey, this phrase describes an active state of being that is extremely powerful in a relationship.

It may seem like an absurd, haphazard combination of words that doesn’t actually describe anything. It’s actually describing one of the mysteries of life, something that cannot be described. It’s speaking about a more complex—and complete—understanding of human experience. When a woman says something like this to you, she’s inviting you to live in the moment in a full, focused, joyful way, with her. She’s asking for your help, your support. She’s asking you to pay full attention to her, witnessing her experience, without judging her experience as good or bad.

When a woman says this, she is actually asking you to be with her, and to pay attention to her, fully. This is incredibly important and I can’t stress it enough. As Jordan Gray says, another way to say ‘presence’ is ‘paying attention.’

To hold space for another person, you have to first do it for yourself. They say our bodies are 80% water—but we’re really 99% space! So breathe deeply, opening up your body further. Hold space within yourself first, which means allowing yourself to simply be. Whatever arises, don’t judge it as good or bad. Witness it, allow it, accept it.

Holding space for another is to hold space for them, within yourself. This isn’t just foo-foo energy talk: it’s building a connection with this other person, based in part on subconscious physical cues. It’s holding the person you’re with in your awareness, just as he or she is; to witness their emotions with empathy, whatever they are.

Anyone can hold space for anyone else. However, I feel that there’s an added dimension available when a man does this for a woman; namely, he is able to be present in his masculine power, and thus allow her to relax into a more feminine state. My experience is that holding masculine for myself can be very exhausting, and being with a man who is willing to step into the masculine fully so that I can ‘drop my guard’ is a huge relief.

Holding space is a way to make your masculine power available for the women around you, for the good of all. We need your presence, your masculinity, and your power. When women realize that this is what you’re doing (and yes, you’re allowed to tell them!) they will relax. Unwind, release tension, melt. They might cry, they might simply smile, they might snuggle up. However they express it, what they will really do is show you a part of themselves that few people ever get to see. It’s beautiful, and it feels great for both of you.

You have an incredible power when it comes to women. The power to hold masculine space, so that they can relax into their feminine selves. A very simplistic description of the sacred masculine is that of a container. The feminine is the fluid within, able to flow because she doesn’t have to contain herself. If you’re craving feminine presence—softness, receptivity, playfulness, authentic adorable womaniness of an indescribable quality—holding space for the women around you is how to get it. This doesn’t just benefit you: it is a huge relief to be able to just be feminine. It’s a huge relief for anyone of either gender to know that they are being truly seen, and that they are not judged. Holding space makes life easier for the people around you.

Holding space means lending your courage, your strength. It means creating a safe environment for someone you care for to exorcise the hurt within them. Allowing that person to cry, to scream, to shudder; witnessing their authentic experience and reacting with love and acceptance to the extent that you are able, is a powerful way of supporting them in this most important spiritual and emotional work.

'When a man is holding space for me, I light up. I let down my guard. I feel more energetic, more free, less worried.'

When a man turns the power of his attention to a woman, and holds space in this way, magic happens. When you truly see her, hear her, know her, you can become aware of her beauty and power. Because of your awareness, she’s able to relax into the moment, be more feminine, be more herself.

Love is a verb, like eat, or sleep. You don’t just do it once. Being present with a woman is itself an act of profound love. So practice it, and watch as magic happens around you.~

~Kathryn Hogan

Oct 3, 2016

THE GURU- Jeff Foster (from 'The Way Of Rest')


The one who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts and you snort like a pig is your guru.
The one who brings tears to your eyes, the one who makes you weep your secrets out, is your guru.
The one who challenges you, triggers old pain in you, makes you face your deepest fears and longings, helps you tell the truth, is your guru.
Every breath is your guru. Every beat of the heart. Every sound.
The morning breeze caressing your cheek is your guru.
The car that won't start, the missed opportunity, the broken promise, the shattered bone, these are all your gurus.
The ones you love, the ones who frustrate you like anything, the ones who bore you to tears, the ones you don't want to remember, the ones who left, they are your gurus too.
This entire life, so fleeting, so present, so rich with blessings, is your guru.
You can go find your guru in an ashram, a church, a temple; you can seek your true salvation in a cave on a mountaintop in India; but, friend, if you look deeply into the present, you will find you are already there.
The true altar is where you stand; the holy book writes itself moment by moment.
The Kingdom is spread out over the earth, waiting for open eyes.

Sep 21, 2016

Who is to hold the space for a woman’s greatness? In many heterosexual relationships, a man is threatened by a woman’s greatness, finding a variety of ways to make her question her own beauty and strength. A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s intellectual or emotional power but celebrates the opportunity for joyful partnership that it offers him. The conscious question is whether a relationship can handle two stars.
We must relinquish the paradigm of men as power with women as support and instead embrace the image of both men and women as powers, with each supporting the other. Any man who holds a woman back is not a man a woman can afford to be with. A woman has a mighty and sacred task to perform on earth. She will not be able to fulfill her function if she remains with a man who derides her glory.
Women are not powerless. We just pretend we are. We do this in large part because we are afraid of the punishment inflicted on us when we dare to be who we really are. It’s a subtle form of discrimination, but it’s clearly there. A few women are allowed into the club, it seems; women who have allowed themselves to be partially declawed, their sexual threat to the status quo diminished just enough, so that men and women alike can handle the juice. But an animal in the wild is not declawed, and an animal in the wild is a beautiful thing.
In the wild, we scream. We scream when we hurt, we scream when we give birth, we scream when we come, and that’s just the way it is. Now what kind of man can handle our passion, and what kind of man can ascend to the throne next to a woman who owns her own crown? A princess attracts a prince, a queen attracts a king. Women who whine attract men who whine. Women full of the lioness heart attract men who are full of the lion.
And this is where women are now, at a place where, perhaps for the first time ever, people are remembering en masse our cosmic function. Our love affairs are not here to serve an industrial machinery or a government system. Our sex is not for procreation alone. Our love is here to spiritualize the earth. Both women and men are in quantum fast forward. We are growing new brains. We are using new eyes.
And when a woman remembers her glory, a man of goodwill can barely contain his joy. His real self arises in the presence of her own. I’m telling you, it works, this thing, this looking within to attract what is without. Make room for love, and it always comes. Make a nest for love, and it always settles. Make a home for the beloved, and he will find his way there.
~Marianne Williamson

Sep 11, 2016

I’ve been looking for you. I’ve been waiting.
I’ve been searching. I’ve been craving.
I’ve found parts of you wrapped in dragons.
Mouths full of fire and hearts that horded gold.

I’ve been longing for you. I’ve been praying.
I’ve been hoping. I’ve been swaying.
I’ve found your bounty in the kisses of kings.
Mouths full of promises that didn’t mean a thing.

I’ve been wanting after you. I’ve been weighing.
I’ve been refusing you. I’ve been waning.
I’ve found pleasure with imposters.
Mouths full of love that only we can truly foster.

I’ve found you in my dreams. I’ve found you in my desires.
I’ve found you in streams. I’ve found you in the muck and the mire.
You are my one true love and I a soul mate without her mirror
Mouth whispering in the dark, “Why’d you have to disappear?”

It is not your graces nor your body I long for. Not another half to make me whole.
I recognize you a thousand times from this life to the next. You—the reflection of my soul.
So drift as you will and I will drift too.

And should the current provide, it will bring me back to you.

Sep 3, 2016

Happy Bithday to meeee :)

Youth is not a period of life. It’s a state of the spirit, it’s the product of a will.
A quality of the imagination and an emotional intensity,
it’s the victory of courage over shyness,
of adventure over comfort.
One doesn’t grow older for having lived a number of years.
One gets older for having deserted an ideal.
Years will wrinkle the skin,
but giving up an ideal will wrinkle the soul.
Worries, doubts, fears and lack of hope are enemies
that slowly make us lean towards the ground .
And we become dust before our death.
Young is the one who astounds and is fascinated.
The one who asks like an insatiable child: “what’s next?”
The one that defies circumstances and finds joy in the game of life.
One is as young as one’s faith.
And as old as one’s doubts.
As young as one’s self-trust.
As one’s hope. And as old as one’s dejection.
One remains young as long as one’s receptive.
Receptive to all that is beautiful and all that is big.
Receptive to the messages of nature, of man and of the infinite.

Aug 5, 2016

Imraan’s Shayari (Poetry) from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Ik baat honton tak hai jo aayi nahin
Bas ankhon say hai jhaankti
Tumse kabhi, mujhse kabhi
Kuch lafz hain woh maangti
Jinko pehanke honton tak aa jaaye woh
…Aawaaz ki baahon mein baahein daalke ithlaye woh
Lekin jo yeh ik baat hai
Ahsas hi ahsas hai
Khushboo si hai jaise hawa mein tairti
Khushboo jo be-aawaaz hai
Jiska pata tumko bhi hai
Jiski khabar mujhko bhi hai
Duniya se bhi chupta nahin
Yeh jaane kaisa raaz hai


 There is a matter that has almost come to my lips
This is evident in my eyes
Sometimes from you, sometimes from me
They ask for words
To take their shape and come to my lips
And to be embraced by my voice
But this matter
Is a feeling…only a feeling
Floating in air like fragrance
Fragrance becomes its voice
That you know of
That i know of
It’s not hidden from the world
Don’t know what kind of secret is this

Jul 26, 2016

My love is not of this world, she thought.

She was complicated in her simplicity, she knew this.

She was the type of girl that smelled of sandalwood and open fields after a long Summer rain; intoxicating, fresh and simple to take in with a depth that seeped into the very soul. She didn’t need to be saved only to be stood by and loved deeply while she saved herself.

Her heart bled poetry whose tomes were unread none having the eyes to see the words written there. Yet there was a humor in her that danced freely and oh how she loved to laugh.

She was at once a mystical journey into the heart of the Earth and the calm found in the fading light of sunset. She had to be swam so deeply to be understood at all and so few had bothered to even dip in a toe.

Her mystery could never remain silent, this she knew. It came out.
The truth always had a way of doing that. She could never silence the magic that flowed through her or the wild passions that coursed in her veins.

Better to be left for what she was than to be loved for a mask, she thought with a heavy heart.

She wondered sometimes as she stared into the dancing trees if there was anyone on this planet that felt this depth, this longing. Perhaps they were on another planet.
Maybe that’s why she spent so much time searching the stars, looking for a sign of the light shining somewhere for her. Maybe she was looking for a home that she had not yet found.

To be this weird, this wild, with this much heart and this depth; the joker, the goddess, the mystic and the lover.

It pained her sometimes.

Who could dance with this passionate fire, ride the waves of this endless sea, laugh to the depths of their being and choose to embrace all of it openly knowing it was only the beginning.

He would smell of home, she decided, and his skin would feel as familiar as her own.
She didn’t need a mask of perfection only his authenticity with truth etched upon his brow and the glow of real love shining in his eyes.

 She didn’t want some unrealistic ideal only the beating of his heart against hers and a smile etched on their lips, as they traced the ancient love stories on each others' skin.

He would drink her in like it was the most natural thing he had ever done, needing to satisfy an ancient thirst. Feeling the depth of the pull towards her he would open his arms to her mystery, not turn and run.

Without taking a step he would fall deep into the place that he was always meant to be by the side of the type of girl that smelled of sandalwood and open fields after a long Summer rain; intoxicating, fresh air that would fill his lungs all in one easy breathe with a depth that eased him and soothed him to the depths of his soul.

Their love story would be of eternity and yet pulsating in each moment. He would provide her relief and she would give him rest. Together, they would love, laugh and live and then no desire, no dream would remain... together they would BE home.


Jun 29, 2016

How Not to Be Offended

There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended.  In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.

 Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let’s face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.
All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other’s life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone else.
This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? In fact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who may be suffering—even if they themselves do not appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing. People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one’s therapist. We need only understand the situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the world a better place.


This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal, we also do not end up feeling abused. We can say, “Thank you for sharing,” and move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since we know it is not about us. When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and worthy people.
The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life.

Jun 4, 2016

Man is the most elevated of creatures,
Woman the most sublime of ideals.
God made for man a throne;
for woman an altar.
The throne exalts,
the altar sanctifies.

Man is the brain,
Woman is the heart.
The brain creates light, the heart Love.
Light engenders, Love resurrects.

Because of reason Man is strong,
because of tears Woman is invincible.
Reason is convincing,
tears moving.

Man is capable of all heroism,
Woman of all martyrdom.
Heroism ennobles,
martyrdom sublimates.

Man has supremacy,
Woman, preference.
Supremacy is strength,
preference is the right.

Man is a genius,
Woman, an angel.
Genius is immeasurable,
the angel undefinable.

The aspiration of man is supreme glory,
The aspiration of woman is extreme virtue.
Glory creates all that is great;
virtue, all that is divine.

Man is a code,
Woman a gospel.
A code corrects,
the gospel perfects.

Man thinks,
Woman dreams.
To think is to have a worm in the brain,
to dream is to have a halo on the brow.

Man is an ocean,
Woman a lake.
The ocean has the adorning pearl,
the lake, dazzling poetry.

Man is the flying eagle,
Woman, the singing nightingale.
To fly is to conquer space.
To sing is to conquer the Soul.

Man is a temple,
Woman a shrine.
Before the temple we discover ourselves,
before the shrine we kneel.

In Short Words, Man is Found Where Earth Finishes,
Woman Where Heaven Begins.

~Victor Hugo

Jun 3, 2016

Yes, I am single!

Yes, I’m single. No, I’m not lying.
It doesn’t matter if the question is coming from family, my friend’s husbands or random strangers—it’s an inquiry that suggests that because of the woman I am, I should have been taken off the market long ago.
But, the thing is, I’m not looking to be taken off the market, just so I have someone’s arm to hold onto as I cross the street.
I’ve joked around and told people that not everyone can handle my flavor of awesome. I’ve said that I am too busy with work and my children to date. There have been times I’ve whimsically replied that whenever it’s meant to happen it will and cynical moments where I said well maybe I am meant to be single forever.
In truth, I’m single because I have lost the ability to settle.
I don’t just want company—I want to be wowed, and in all honesty I’m not wowed that easily.
The funny thing is, it’s not about what kind of car a man drives, nor is it found in his possessions, that he brags about, as supposed evidence of his character and worth.
No, what I am looking for can’t be found in any material things.
It’s found in the eyes of a man and in his heart.
The way he approaches the world and how his life is evidence of what he stands for. I’ve realized that I’m not after just any man—I’m only in pursuit of someone who burns as passionately as I do.
The fact is, I don’t really want a boyfriend.
I don’t need someone to play house with and pass the time until we eventually realize we want different things. I don’t need to learn any more lessons from dating different versions of the same man, nor do I need someone to reflect all of my daddy issues or self-worth back to me.
These lessons I’ve learned have not been overnight. This in depth and sometimes scary self-work has been done sitting by myself, learning that I am enough just the way I am.
I’ve got this. I’m not looking for a bargain basement kind of love.
I won’t be sifting through discount love in an attempt to have something, because I would much rather wait it out, do me, and be ready when someone of my caliber and energy level comes around.
I’m honestly single because I am a lot to handle—with colours that defy the logical and a taste that lingers upon the heart. It’s okay that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea—but what I am will be the right fit for someone who understands the complexities of my contradictions.
The question, “How can you be single?” implies that those asked are supposed to be taken, but maybe it’s the people who actually have their act together who remain single the longest.
Relationships aren’t just for pleasure but also for self-growth. Sometimes we need other’s help to teach us the lessons we are too blind to see. But other times the only person to explore our issues with is ourselves.
Because regardless of who it is, or how enlightened they may seem—we’ve all got issues. How they manifest themselves in our lives depends on what stage of awareness and healing we are in.
For a long time, when someone asked me why I was still single, it made me question my relationship status because I couldn’t just team up and date random people like so many seem satisfied with. It was as if something was wrong with me because I didn’t feel a strong desire to fill my social calendar with those wanting to take me to dinner or concerts.
But then I realized, it was because I had fallen in love with myself and my life—as is.
I enjoy my own company, and that of friends and family so much that the only reason I would accept an invitation by a prospective man is if I felt he could add something to my already full life.
I’m not living my life day to day, hoping for the best. No, I am here building my own empire in the sky, and the fact is once a woman has decided to build her own castle she isn’t looking for someone else to do it for her.
Does that mean I think I am superwoman, and that I can do everything on my own? No, not at all. But it does mean that I know the qualities I am looking for, not in a lover or a boyfriend—but in a partner. I want someone whose dreams are just as full as mine, who aspires to a life they can attain with hard work and dedication.
I’m waiting for someone who can match my strength. He will be strong enough so that I don’t always have to be strong. I’m not looking for someone to be like me, but to complement me.
Perhaps the biggest reason that I am still single is that I know exactly what I want.
I am looking for presence in a man. He’ll know how I should be spoken to and how to ignite a fire inside my belly. The fact that I don’t yet have this is okay with me because I do have faith that I will one day.
So, why am I still single?
Because I have decided not to accept less than what I deserve. I have learned that my worth doesn’t lay in the hands of a man. I wake up each day absolutely in love with my life.
Until the day comes when a man comes into my life and enhances what is already here, I will remain single because I’ve found myself. And that is more than half the battle of finding another.

May 11, 2016

I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.

This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.~

Apr 24, 2016

A LETTER TO MAGNIFICENT MEN~Christabel Zamor (Inspired by the work of David Deida)

My dear beautiful man,

What I relish from you more than anything is presence. I hunger for you to have the capacity to maintain deep, unwavering eye contact, undistracted by anything in the background.

I crave your deep, resonant voice, and the slow methodical speed of your well thought out words. I yearn for you to breathe each breath with me and guide me to deepen my presence through example.

I am eager for you to stand strong, tall and powerful without figeting or getting restless. I love it when your face is relaxed enough to take me in with or without smiling, but always with deep breaths and a steady gaze.

I love it when your head is held high, your spine is tall, your body looks strong and powerful. I adore it when you can hold me in a tender embrace long enough for me to melt.

I ache for your stability so I can be wild, expressive, and emotional. I want to be able to let go and go
crazy with desire, passion, anger or sadness and see you still here and unwavering, just being like an eternal mountain range~ grounded and dependable. I long to feel your ability to stay through discomfort.

I love and adore your power because it is great and ferocious, but only when it is fuelled by protective love instead of anger or the desire to control. I yearn to feel your devotion instead of any agenda to fix, solve, or match my energy.

I want you to be a man so I can be fully what it is to be a woman. I love the strong, distinct flavour of male energy and I want to taste it in you through your passionate dedication to show up.

I need you to desire and cherish my radiance above your own. I need to feel that my beauty brings you into your body and gives meaning to your life. While I love that you feel emotions and I want to know about them, I hope overall you are the force of stability so I don’t need to constantly carry the mantle of strength… that diminishes my feminine light and hurts my spirit.

I love it when the flow of masculine and feminine ebbs back and forth between us both. It feels nice when you can show your strength in softness and I can flow my femininity through action… this feels delicious when we play it together.

What I crave above all is the polarity in whatever dance we explore so we are magnetically drawn together.

Overall, I need you to know that I adore you! When you stand tall in your greatest power, I become the most tender, flowing and open. I want nothing more then to unleash and soften with you. I want nothing more than to trust you fully and give myself totally to you.