Dear woman... don't dim your shine!

Dear woman, sometimes you'll be too much woman. Too smart. Too beautiful. Too strong. Too much of something. That can make weak men feel like even less of a man. Which in turn can start making you feel like less of a woman. The biggest mistake you could make, though, is to remove jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand, you do not need a smaller crown. You need a man with bigger hands.

How Not to Be Offended

There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended.  In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.

 Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let’s face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.
All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other’s life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone else.
This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? In fact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who may be suffering—even if they themselves do not appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing. People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one’s therapist. We need only understand the situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the world a better place.


This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal, we also do not end up feeling abused. We can say, “Thank you for sharing,” and move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since we know it is not about us. When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and worthy people.
The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life.

THE JOY OF WAITING Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com)

When you were young, you loved to dream and let go of dreams. Either way, you dwelled in the Now. When you got older, you started to take your dreams and goals way too seriously, and your happiness became bound up with the future, and the destination became more important than the journey.
Dream about what you want, of course. Have a vision for the future. But learn to let your dreams go, too, let them float off into the river of life, and bring your attention back to the present moment. Don't use a dream as an excuse to disconnect from where you are. Where you are is way too precious...
Learn to love the in-between moments. Learn to love this delicious sense of waiting, yearning, anticipating. Learn to dance and breathe in the space between the wanting and the getting, the dreaming and the resolution of dreams. Learn to love not having what you want right now. The tremendous sense of potential there, the fullness if it, the peace. Realise that 'lack' is only space, resisted. And even an 'incomplete' feeling is so complete, a welcome visitor in the heart. Breathe into the belly, the chest, the head. Infuse the body with light, saturate it with awareness, drench it with love. Feel the fullness of the body. Lacking nothing. Wanting nothing.
Even when you don't have what you want, you are invited to want to be exactly where you are; to fall in love with the place where you stand, to contact the fertile ground as you wait, or forget the waiting and simply savour the moments.
And open your arms in gratitude, ready to receive whatever comes.
Sometimes, even the 'not getting' can be so very beautiful.
Behold, your abundant life.

BE MY VALENTINE, WORLD

Love is not a feeling.
If love were a feeling,
it would come and go,
like in a great drama.

Love is not a thought.
If love were a thought,
it would have an opposite.
Love is too huge to be contained in thought.

Love is not a belief.
If love were a belief,
you would doubt it.
And who would believe that?

Love is not a state.
If love were a state,
you could enter or leave it.
Or fall out of it. 

Love is not an experience.
If love were an experience,
it would begin and end,
and you would long for its return.

Love is not something you find.
If love were something you found,
you could lose it too,
so you'd have to cling to it for dear life.

Love is simpler, kinder, closer, less dramatic.
Less urgent, more present.
Love is the space in which everything appears.
Every thought, every sensation,
every feeling, pleasurable and painful,
blissful, boring, erotic, gentle and intense,
all are held in love's vast embrace.

Yes, YOU are the space for it all,
spaciously intimate with every breath,
in love with every beat of the heart,
every sound, every smell,
every sensation in the body,
every moment of life.

Feeling like you're in love
or not feeling like you're in love,either way, you are in love
with the bliss and the boredom of existence,
with the certainty and the doubt of it,
with the pleasure and the pain,
with the success and the failure,
with the seeking and the resting,
with every sacred movement
of this astonishing dream-world.

All that can be held, can be lost.
All that you can gain, can be taken away.
All that you can build up, can turn to dust overnight.
All that can be created, can also be destroyed.

Only love remains. Only love.
Not a feeling, not a thought, not a belief,
not a state, not an experience,
not something that you 'have',
not something that you're 'in' or 'out' of,
not something that you 'get' from others
(despite the romantic myths we are sold),
but the endless embrace of all of this.

Love is you. You, before you were named,
before you were even born.
You. You are the One.
The One you have always sought.

The unsilenceable call of the heart.
The cry from deep within.
The fragile silence in the middle of the night.
You will never abandon yourself again.

Be my Valentine, world.

we just love.

Sometimes there are no words. Words simply do not come. Sometimes we cannot find words to convey the depths of which we feel. That's okay. It's okay to just be in a raw feeling place, and not know when or if words will come to express.
We can just feel the depth of life, the depth of our humanity, the depth of this journey in human form. We can navigate the silent wondering, the unfathomable unknown -- by slowing and deepening the breath, and sending love from our hearts to all points seen and unseen, and known and unknown in the Universe.
May that love penetrate the most open, soft, permeable, and pliable, to the most closed, dense, and seemingly fierce immovable forces in all of existence. May that love be a light of courage and conviction for us to keep walking the path...especially through those times where we cannot see where it will lead. Each breath, each step -- a reminder to wake up from our slumber of suffering. In our stillness and silence, all is included, and without words -- we just love.

The Deep Joy of Being of Service

At first, spirituality is all about the individual waking up to the deeper layers of their consciousness, and integrating these truths--both the transcendental truths as well as the hidden, suppressed personal beliefs--until one comes into unison within ones self. But then, spirituality becomes all about being of service to the other-selves which are all portions of the over-arching being that you/I/we are.
When most of the personal doubts and separations have been resolved, there is no greater honor for the individual than to be so fully of service that he sees nothing but the One Infinite Creator interacting with itself in infinite ways through endless individuations. This state cannot be explained nor understood until experienced first-hand, but there is no greater satisfaction than to be of service to the All.
In fact, after one has gone through most of one's own spiritual growth, the only way to evolve even further is to direct that spiritual awareness unto the rest of ones Self (aka other-selves) and commit to that so fully that one becomes even more self-transcendent in their consciousness.
There is no way to describe this state of being as it is truly transpersonal. The balance of love, wisdom, confidence, tact and humility that one gets to learn in these rapturous as well as heart-breaking scenarios that the soul then attracts to its personality-extensions is so subtle no teaching except the living of it can touch upon this reality.
Make no mistake, this is the state I prepare you all for in my Trinfinity Academy and through my teachings. I might talk about attracting your dream life, and you will be able to manifest that too using these tools, but it will also naturally evolve you into a shepherding consciousness to which I cannot speak in words except barely. But when that stage has fully arrived for you, we will be able to look each other in the eyes when we meet and share instant tears of gratitude and ungraspable recognition of each other's beingness, fearless heart and journey. We will see the oneness of our vision and purpose.
There is no greater joy, no deeper honor, than to be of service to others in the most intangible of ways.
May you know your utter union with the Creator through all experience and catalyst that you attract to yourself as a human today. We will meet as brothers and sister of light when the time comes for you to have passed successfully through the challenge of loneliness and misunderstanding.
The ultimate reward lies on the other side of your unconditional willingness to give ever more of yourself to those who ask for your soul to be present here on earth.

By being all that we are, we help others :)

Sometimes people like to imagine themselves like a lighthouse, lighting the way for the ships and saving the world....but, that lighthouse is useless, unless it takes care of ITSELF, unless if fans IT'S OWN flames and shines it's IT'S OWN with all it's full essence. It is useless unless if it plays small and humble saying "I don't want to get to bright and scare the ships " The lighthouse was created to be *BRILLIANT* ....The lighthouse does not go out, into the storm, and try to calm it... it does not go out and take the ships by hand, and lead them...it simply stand there *Being Brilliant* - feeding it's own flames, nurturing it's own fire and it's own expression.  The ships can make use of it's light or not - THAT'S UP TO THEM.... but the lighthouse is useless if it plays small and humble.

See yourself as a lighthouse, the brighter the flame, the grander the expression, the more impact you can have on all that is, you serve humanity by serving yourself...he light house doesn't give it's fuel to light the candles around it, or to light the lamps of the peasants below, it uses ALL of it's fuel for itself - and in that way lives it's full potential....in service.
YOU come first...
Even the lighthouse's keeper may let his own fire go out, but he will keep the lighthouse burning
YOU COME FIRST

THE PARADOX OF EFFORTLESS CHANGE (Jeff Foster)

We can only truly change when we fully accept ourselves as we are right now; flaws, imperfections, doubts and all.
A true painter uses the canvas they are given; they will not wait for the perfect canvas to begin.
The art must happen now.
You want the perfect partner? The perfect mother or father? The perfect boss? The perfect body? The perfect feelings? The perfect enlightenment? The perfect life?
How about deeply accepting what is here, right now? How about deeply accepting others, as they actually are? How about bowing to the energies that are alive, dignifying the place where you stand?
A strange place to start, admittedly. Sounds a little, er, back-to-front. Like giving up. Like settling for less than you deserve. Like weakness. A self-indulgent pity party. Getting lost in the mud.
But wait.
Is acceptance of 'what is' the same as giving up on the possibility of change? Actually, no.
Does acceptance mean tolerating or "putting up with" difficult feelings? Does it mean blindly following violent impulses? Not at all.
Does acceptance mean becoming detached and passive, turning a blind eye to the violence in the world, letting others walk all over us and our loved ones? No.
Does acceptance mean playing a false role, the role of the "very spiritually evolved, deeply accepting, utterly peaceful person"? No. Acceptance is not a role, and it's not personal.
Deep acceptance means aligning with the way things actually are. It means staring life in the face, right now. It means turning towards what is here, what has been given, the actual canvas. It means letting go of false hopes and dreams and awakening to what is really true. It means ending the war, seeing through the illusion of a 'self' separate from this mysterious movement of life. It means saying yes to the present scene of the movie, even if it isn't the scene you'd planned or hoped for.
It is the supreme paradox, that out of a deep and uncompromising acceptance of this seemingly 'imperfect' moment, truly creative and intelligent and surprisingly effortless change can happen. Because you're no longer at war, and you're open to possibility, and you're fully alive.
You've nourished and fertilised the ground with loving attention and slowness, and now something new and beautiful can emerge.
The mind was never in charge of change, anyway.
And the ground was always trustable.

Love. Love is the answer.
And the question was forged
at the heart of a dying star.

Or in the eyes of an old friend.
Or in the openings in the forest we once walked together.
Or in the gaps in conversation; the spaces where we felt each other.
Held each other between words.
Knew what we knew.
There was once a spirituality
where the teacher studied for years,
spouted the correct answers,
expert to novice,
talked of unconditional love,
altered states, the purity of being,
yet kept their heart closed,
hid behind their role,
put down others who weren't as evolved,
ignored their own pain.
Didn't listen.
Didn't feel.
Pleaded immunity.
We now know
that even the most learned ones
may have a lot to learn
when it comes to love.
For love is not clever words.
Love is fire.
Love is earth.
Love is presence.
It will humble you.
Strip you bare.
Make you doubt all you once knew.
Crucify your expertise.
It will break down your defences,
the walls you erected to keep others out, make yourself an authority, the wise one, special.
Humbled, you will laugh at all you once taught.
So throw your answers onto the fire now.
Know love as the answer!
And discover again the question,
still living,
still vibrant,
The eternal flow of life is LOVE...

Dive headlong into it, swim, drown, live, die... it is everywhere, everything.

 Holding us. We are safe!




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 We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves

WHY YOU CANNOT GO WRONG

In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration, and ultimately for your healing - even if you forget that, or cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction, despair and disillusionment.
When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.
Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.
But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the movie going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.
Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all.
Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder.
The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine.