It was one of those get togethers at the GOC’s house and I was draping my turquoise sari. Atul came to help me with the pleats which he always did…I smiled. He looked so handsome in his bandhgala. It was navy blue, which caught his complexion really well. He looked every inch the officer and the gentleman he was. My heart swelled with pride and my love for him shone in my eyes. He preened, touching his mouche, combing away imaginary unruly strands of hair, dusting his shoulders. I nudged him and we both laughed, in perfect harmony with each other.
We entered the party lawns and walked towards our host Gen. K , who was holding court with some officers and their wives. A grinned “The cat is away (referring to the Gen’s wife)… I smiled. It was well known in the Army circle that Mrs. K was a tough old bird. Suddenly, A called out “Hey! Bhatta, you bugger! Come here”. I turned to see a young officer, probably a captain with his wife walking up to us. Oh! She was so pretty, in her heavy Benarasi saree, gold jewellery and her wedding choora.
She looked shy, ill at ease. My heart warmed towards her, knowing what she must be feeling. The Army atmosphere can be overwhelming for a young girl, the protocol, the sit down dinners, I had been through it, and so I knew the anxiety one feels as a new bride. You want to make a good impression especially for your husband’s sake. And there is enough gossip floating around about how the ladies can tear one to shreds, if one doesn’t know the salad fork from the dinner one at those stuffy formal sit-downs!
“Maam, this is S, my wife”, said Bhatta, proudly. I spoke to her warmly, asking her about her family etc. She talked to me a bit shyly at first, but soon was chattering away, telling me about her exams and their honeymoon in Goa (a favourite destination for young officers as the Army has a nice setup in Panjim)… After a while, we moved away, had to circulate… but I kept looking out for S, smiling whenever I spotted her, she reminded me of myself so much when I had been a new bride. A asked me “L, what is it? Why the smile?” I said “Just that I look at her and see myself then and now as a Col’s wife, sure of what is expected of me. Just thinking she will be sure too”. He nodded, saying “He is a bright chap, will rise, got an alpha on his YO’s.” We looked towards them and I felt the hair on my arms rise!
I saw something behind S, a hazy figure of a woman. I don’t know why, my heart filled with sense of foreboding. I felt a cold finger run up my spine. Something terrible was going to happen! I asked A “What is that?” He couldn’t see anything. After a minute or so, though it seemed like forever, the shadow disappeared. My throat was dry. “Oh! God… they are so young! Let nothing happened to them” a silent prayer escaped my lips.
I was quiet for the rest of the evening and as we drove back home, I asked A “Is the brigade moving out for anything?” He said “Yes, darling. You know its winter; we will be going for the regular exercise in the desert area. Why?” I said nothing.
In the next few weeks, I met S too, once or twice at a Ladies Meet and a coffee morning. But it was at a welfare event that I saw the shadow again just behind her. I shook my head, it was still there. My heart tightened.
That evening, I waited for A’s call. When the phone rang, I snatched it and asked him “How is Capt. Bhattacharya? Where is he?” There was a note of surprise in A’s voice as he answered, “He is with his unit. They are 100 kms away from my location. Why?” Then I told him of what I had seen and my fears. He laughed gently, cracked a few jokes and in his usual way, put my fears to rest. I was feeling light when I hung up.
The next morning, the phone rang around 6 am. I reached out for it and as I listened to the voice telling me what had happened, I realized that the shadow had been for me, not S.
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