The Perfect Lover~~

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder – an old saying which contains an element of truth. Whether we know it or not, each of us is searching for completion with our perfect lover. He or she may not be physically beautiful in a worldly sense but will have an unmistakeable quality which creates a heightened sensitivity when in their presence.

The perfection, however, isn’t the man or woman but the state of love expressive in all its wild abandonment and creative intensity. This searing impersonal love eliminates the cloying sentimentality of human attachment and introduces a dynamism of extraordinary magnetic power. The transition from human to divine lover is intense and all-consuming as the resolve to serve the principle of love becomes the main focus of the life. Eventually, through Grace, the personal taint of self is transformed through the heroic undergoing of love’s purpose on earth. The perfect lover has been made simple through the experience of their relationships in the sensual world. Such a man or woman then communicates through presence, and in physical union their inner nature is able to merge with great love and tenderness in the deepest centre of the beloved within the being.

The pinnacle of life as a human being is to be loved by the personification of God in existence. Only in the validation in the flesh and blood body through such an exalted presence (ordinary as they may appear) can the original state of love be realised at a level where the life is irrevocably changed by the power of the spirit. And yet the perfect lover is always now, at least as a potential in the living life. This is because in a partnership, be it harmonious or challenging, something is happening that is altering what happened last moment. Nothing is static, but an ongoing collision of incalculable complexity of forces which energetically orchestrate our lives and that of the celestial bodies which revolve in the consciousness of the mind.

For someone without a partner the perfect lover is present, albeit not necessarily physically manifest in the flesh. It’s possible to connect with the energy of this love by being still and putting the focus inside the body. What is registered when nothing becomes the sweetness of existence without formality is the formless love, which waits for the moment to be made real in sense. However someone advanced in age, who is perhaps no longer able or inclined to make physical love, can rest easy in the living reality of all the love that has been made in the great journey through existence. This can often be observed in dear elderly men and women who are content to sit for hours gazing out across the fields or the sea, naturally connected to their perfect lover within the being.

The perfect lover is a companion in both life and death. The actual living experience is the formal aspect of love’s purpose, whereas the virtue of the often difficult situations that must accompany great love is the immortal state. In that other place, free of the restrictions of physical bodies, the reality behind the form is creatively free as a joyous expression of the authentic spiritual being. Love in the immortal space is complete as a unity of everything anyone has ever loved or recognised as the beauty and wonder of the sensory earth. This heavenly emanation is the purity of love without formality. Here, someone only has to think of a loved one and they’ve immediately united with them. But also, it’s possible to enjoy the smell of the rose or the rain, all being created simultaneously within the being.

Finally, if the love between partners has been real and true enough while embodied together on earth, they are united forever in that immortal place beyond death – and are never seen again, except perhaps as the twinkle of some distant star. And whoever gazes upon that star in a state of pure receptivity to love will be inspired and assisted in some way towards union with the perfect lover, which is the eternal destiny of us all.~

Imagine finding a woman
who has cultivated so much love,
that she has emerged
as a living conduit
for it to course through,
residing in a constant state of
outflow,
never expecting to receive,
because she is already so
nourished
from within
and from Above,
allowing her to receive you with
immaculacy -
without attachment -
when you do reflect love back.

Imagine finding a woman
who has become light itself,
illuminating all around her,
her rays
filtering their way into
not just the windows
you choose to open but
seeping into
each
and
every
single
crack
in your armour,
that you didn’t even know were there,
discovering with relief
and terror
that
your shadows
have nowhere left to hide.

Imagine finding a woman
who is already married to God,
who looks to you for
nothing
more
than your rawest,
most authentic
self,
needing nothing of you,
but softly asking for,
seductively beckoning for
the gift you’ve not yet given -
the one that sits in the deepest part of you -
that you have been afraid to retrieve,
wanting only that,
with no expectation
of what it will look like
or what it even is,
just that
she’ll know it
when she
feels
it.

Imagine finding a woman
who has trained her eyes
to see people’s
souls,
upon whom your acting and posturing
has no effect
other than to make her chuckle knowingly,
who loves your masks too,
and lets you know
sometimes gently
and sometimes firmly,
but always lovingly,
when you’ve been wearing one for too long.

Imagine finding a woman
who has quietly tended
to the garden of her soul
so tenderly,
and for so long,
and with such bravery,
unafraid
to water it with the tears of her
soul-grief,
planting the very
last seeds
left in the pouch
of her heart,
that the strength of her faith
that they would grow into vines
that could
reach up
towards the light,
touch the light
and
become
the light,
restores your own faith
such that
you yourself
are reborn
as a
Believer.

Imagine finding a woman
who has found
herself.

There is nothing to fight and nothing to fear in this world. But most of you do not believe this. You think you have to change things. You believe you have to make things happen. If you do not make things happen things will break down, nothing will be right.

Who told you this?

The only thing that will break down is your ego. Yet some of you will not allow this to happen. You will fight for your ego, you will protect your ego at all cost for you are afraid to let go. You do not know what is on the other side. You think if you let go you will be a wimp or a coward. You think all your good will be taken away from you. This is impossible.

The planets spin in their orbits, the sun shines, the flowers grow. All these things happen without confusion, without chaos, everything is unfolding as it should but you come along and want to change things. You want to make this a better world in which to live...

Find yourself first then see if you want to change the world. Find yourself first then see if you want to change your life. Find yourself first then see if anything is missing from your life.

It all begins with you. It all begins with you. You are the one.

THE LOVING MASCULINE: THE LOST KEY TO BALANCE~~

What I see is an infinite potential. We are designed to work in perfect harmony with each other.

Our brains and emotional systems, when loved and acknowledged, awaken to incredible limitlessness. And the potential of our bodies exceed what we were told to be.

Men and women are meant to help each other to complete the awakening of our sexuality and our emotions. Both are keys to reach the balance we seek.

This is the beauty of our polarity. That is the magic of the Yin and Yang. The reason why falling in love with each other will heal humanity.

A World of Polarity

The Feminine, in the past 2000 years, has been overly passive (Yin) while the Masculine excessively violent (Yang).

Then, in the last century, we went through a historic process of women finding their strength in the imitation of masculine roles, a necessary step that brought big change to the world, but one that no longer serves feminine freedom.

In the last few years, we have witnessed the over-feminization of men seeking to reconnect with their Yin qualities.

We are reaching that balance now.

The Masculine

I feel that the masculine energy is rising in balance, leaving aside the old paradigms, and opening to deep listening of the feminine wounds.

I see men firmly established in their masculinity, allowing softness to be a part of their honest expression.

I’m observing men opening up to their vulnerability with the grounded approach of the wise warrior, inviting their feminine nature of intuition and compassion to develop.

Throughout history, men have been required to show up, no matter what their emotional needs were.

At the same time, we expect them to be in contact with their feelings, listening and caring. Demanding to see their softness, asking that they understand women who were never taught how to understand themselves.

They love and hold space for the wounded woman, but most of the times no one holds space for them.

Yin and Yang bodies

The human body has seven main centers of energy, known in Eastern traditions as chakras.

Two of these energy vortices are very different in men and women. The second chakra is linked to sexuality, and the fourth chakra is linked to the heart.

The Heart

The heart chakra in the woman’s body is expressed in a beautiful outer form, the breast, which comforts and nourishes in a powerful expression of our potential for unconditional giving. In men, their physicality is much more like armor. Social roles they have had throughout history reinforced this, so their heart is harder to reach.

But that doesn’t mean it does not desire to be touched just as much. The endless search for connection, the craving for love, and the wish to be held and nourished, is one of the best kept secrets of the masculine.

I feel that it is time to help heal the Masculine by holding men close to our hearts. Sharing with them our wisdom: how to access the unconditional love that characterizes the Divine Feminine.

Loving them without asking for anything, nourishing them and holding space for their vulnerability, so they can relax into openness. Because emotions are our best intuitive guide, and when healthy and healed, the strength comes from a centered stable place.

The Sex

The second chakra is also manifested very different in men and women.

The female sexuality goes inside, receiving and sensitive when loved and respected, hiding and blocking when shamed.

The masculine sexuality goes outwards. Loving and caring when balanced, forcing and intrusive when unbalanced.

This is the beauty of our polarity. That is the magic of the Yin and Yang. The reason why falling in love with each other will heal humanity.

I HAVE FOUND MY TRUE RELIGION

I studied the world’s great religions.
I devoured the long, dense tomes of philosophers.
I did what the gods and gurus said I should do.

I was a good boy yet I found no comfort, no home.
Only second-hand thoughts from second-hand people
and a brief respite from a terrible nostalgia.

In the name of spirituality I fell into denial.
I denied anger and called it peace.
I denied shame and called it power.
I denied sexuality and called it purity.
I denied my humanity and called it Awareness.
I denied desire itself and proclaimed myself enlightened.

Now, I find my home in simplicity.
I have been humbled. I know nothing.
I see a cloud and hot tears stream down my face.
Or the face of an old friend, it shocks me with its perfection.
Or a lamppost on my evening walk,
bowing to me with its perfect incandescent light.
All things pull me back to God, I cannot prevent it.

I use human language but I am not quite human.
I am a sparrow at dawn. My song is my home.
My body is my temple. My altar is loss and the strange relief of grieving.
I find solace in the utter lack of solace.
I find rest in my own restless desire for life.

My love, may I sit beside you now?
Will you share with me what’s on your heart?
(I am as lost as you are).
Will you give me your tears, your shudders and your trembling?
Shall I hold you until it stops, and if it never stops shall I hold you?
Will you hold me too?
Shall we look after each other, as the end draws near?
Yes, shall we look after each other?

Oh God. Oh God. I have found my true religion.
Simple. Human. Kindness.

Every single thing always works out even when you don’t understand it at the moment.
You can look back at past experiences and be grateful that certain things didn’t work out because you wouldn’t be where you are. Be grateful.
Whatever you’re going through now will pass.
You are a miracle.
Life is a miracle. Everything around you is all miraculous. Once you see things from this perspective you’ll feel a sense of peace that you don’t have to try so hard to control everything.
Let go and trust in the higher power to guide you. Surrender your worries. Give up your doubt.
Let yourself be free from resistance. Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space. Decide to believe in yourself and watch magical things start to happen in your life.

Stop overthinking, worrying, and stressing yourself out. Everything will be okay.
It might seem like it at the moment when you’re in the midst of everything, but when you let go and feel that sense of inner ease great things will begin to happen for you.
Ease is a state of trust and a powerful way of allowing. Your faith has to be strong in believing that you can manifest and receive what you want.
All your requests and deep desires has been received by the universe. You efforts, your visualizations, and your prayers have been heard.
You sent the signal out, now you just have to trust and be patient as your blessings begin to flow into your life.
Don't think about how it will happen, that's not for you to worry about. Put it out there and let it happen.
The universe picks up vibrations and those in gratitude, joy, and love for what they want to receive get them.
The grateful get showered in blessings.
Instead of overthinking, align your faith with divine timing and trust that everything that belongs in your life is making its way towards you right now.
Don't block what's coming by thinking negatively. What you want has been on the way, but your worry, doubt, and lack of trust has been slowing down the process.
Start releasing and start receiving. You've got this.~

Two months...

Today is a day I am feeling so sad! haha not really... how can I even be sad when I love you so much?
 Love gives wings gives freedom gives a sweetness to our very existence.

But yes I do miss seeing you... as even a glimpse is enough to nourish my heart and satiate my soul. It has been 2 months! since I saw you... I miss you. I love you. I sing for you. I pray that you be safe and happy.

Being the "good" person I am... I had saved a few pictures of you that I would see and feel happy. When I realised that you are not mine in any way... I deleted them. I wish I hadn't now... I miss your face! I miss your smile... I miss your hands... I miss your being! But I know you are here, you are fine, you are healthy... and that gives me solace. Though I wish I had a pictue!! LOL Rantings of a lovelorn heart!

A song that always made me wonder and when I saw you it made sense...

https://music.amazon.in/albums/B07531H2FL?trackAsin=B0752ZPXMT&ref=dm_sh_0e7b-7acf-dmcp-9468-74ecb&musicTerritory=IN&marketplaceId=A21TJRUUN4KGV

THE PARADOX OF LOVING

My love,
you cannot truly “be there” for another
until you learn to “be there” for yourself.

Be there for your breath as it rises and falls.
As it slows, quickens, deepens.
As the belly expands and contracts.
Be there. Be a loving witness
to this extraordinary power that moves through you.

Be there for all your feelings, not just the pleasant ones.
Be there for the grief and the anger, too.
The ease and the frustration.
Be there for the sorrow, the emptiness and the fullness,
the wildness and the calm, the life and the dying.

Be there for all your thoughts.
The ones you love and the ones you hate.
The ones that scare you and the ones you seek.
Be there as they arise and dissolve.
Stay there as they stay and go.

Be there for the broken heart
and be there for the healed one too.
Be there for the answers,
but don’t abandon the questions either.
Be there for the clarity,
but don’t neglect the confusion.

Be there for all of yourself, my love.
Like a mother, there for her children.

And you will be able
to be there for all of me.

Look after me by looking after you.
Find me by finding you.

This is the paradox of loving.

It’s okay to be scared. Fear is a part of the human experience.

It’s okay to grieve. Grief is a part of the human experience.

It’s okay to rest, even when so much is yet undone. Rest is a part of the human experience.

It’s okay to be angry, even when you have so much to be grateful for. Anger is a pert of the human experience.

It’s okay to be joyful, even when someone’s sky is falling. Joy is a part of the human experience.

It’s okay to feel broken. It’s okay to rearrange the pieces and create a mosaic instead of a puzzle picture with nice neat edges. It’s part of the human experience.

It’s okay to be abundant, even when others are not. Abundance is part of the human experience. Share.

It’s okay to be bored, even though the whole world offers itself to you as the greatest adventure ever created. Boredom is a part of the human experience.

It’s okay to take the leap of faith, even when others see no answer. Faith and falling, miraculous risings, are all part of the human experience.

It’s okay to be sick. It’s okay to get well. It’s okay to let go at the appointed hour, and become free from the delusions of body and mind. Even death is a valid part of the human experience.

It’s okay to live in the tension of desire and duality. It’s okay to live in wonder and curiosity. It’s okay to believe in your impossible dream, and live into it, or watch it turn to dust. It’s all part of the human experience.

It’s okay to seek out ways of living that cultivate beauty, happiness, peace. These too are part of the human experience.

We are a resourceful people:human beings. We adapt and adjust and go on, but when we come to see we are adapting to harm, trauma and misalignment, we are invited to access our creativity. Our freedom of choice.

It’s okay to heal. It’s okay to call on the hummingbird of happiness. It’s okay to pursue the sweetness of life. To seek alignment with our highest governing truths. To do so without permission, approval or attendance. It’s okay that you cannot drag the world with you towards your utopia.

Go that way.
Go that way.~

Nothing evolves us like Love.

There is
The rising up
From light's embrace

You can see in a summer field or
In a child's dancing.

Every city is a dulcimer
That plays it's chorus against
Our ears.

The lid of a pot starts jumping
When water gets ecstatic from fire.

If I ever don't complete a sentence
While we are together
Accept my apologies and try to understand
This sweet drunk thought.

Birds initially had no desire to fly,
What really happened was this:

God once sat close to them
playing Music.
When He left
They missed him so much

Their great longing sprouted wings,
Needing to search the Sky.

Nothing evolves us like Love.

~ Hafiz

THE LIE OF HAPPINESS

We are not meant to feel happy and inspired all the time. We are not meant to be joyful and full of energy all the time. We are not meant to be “up” all the time.

The Unconscious has no interest in being "up". It only wants Truth.

Our hearts are so vast and can hold so much life; so much sorrow and loneliness as well as joy. We are meant to feel down sometimes! We are meant to touch into the depths of human sorrow sometimes. To feel disconnected, lost and without answers sometimes. These are also sacred experiences. And portals to compassion.

For the deeper we touch into our own pain, the more we can understand the pain of our brothers and sisters.

It is imperative that we make room for the so-called “negative” aspects of psyche. If we feel down, let’s feel down, completely! If we feel lonely, let’s learn to lean a little into our loneliness. If we feel lost, let’s allow “the lost one” in, allow her to come home to us.

Instead of rushing for quick fixes, distractions and solutions, let’s open our hearts to the ‘unloved’ parts inside.

The pressure to be “up” all the time is literally making people sick. The pressure to feel "inspired and positive and energized 24/7” is murdering souls.

Slow down, today, friend. Have the courage to touch into the dark places now - the loneliness, the rage, the boredom, the 'negative' and 'unwanted' energies inside. You will discover, they are really full of intelligence, full of beauty and creativity – and full of Light!

Are you looking to enjoy the beauty of life with someone OR are you looking for someone to avoid loneliness in life?

Both these searches have very different outcomes.

If you are seeking to enjoy the beauty of life with someone, you will look for what you want in your life i.e. companionship, joy of sharing etc … so, you will look for people that match your personality type, your mindset, your thought process, your way of looking at life, your preferences.

And, because life works on a lag principle and because these aren’t objective parameters, it may take some time to find that person…that one person who completes your life’s jigsaw. Worst case scenario, you may never find that person, and if that happens, you will end up enjoying half the beauty of life.

On the other hand, if you are seeking to avoid loneliness, you will look for what you don’t want in life i.e. not feeling alone…so, you will look for a person who will engage you intellectually, emotionally or physically in a positive or a negative fashion.

Largely anyone and everyone will fit your requirement because short term engagement is easy…even a monkey can do that. Do I need to tell you that sooner or later you will get tired of this person and s/he will get tired of you, and then you will feel cheated, and, again you will begin your search for that someone to avoid loneliness.

Ask yourself - What am I looking for?

PS : I am blessed I know who I love! He doesn't know it but I do! Now I am free of the search!

THE HEART-POUNDING TRUTH

Truth is often not easy, or comfortable.

Truth can make you sweat.
It can make your legs shake, your heart pound.
It can pull the rug of certainty from under your feet.
It can destroy comfort, the status quo.

But it can make you feel alive like nothing else.
It can rip your heart open to love.
It can connect you in ways you never thought possible.

Live your deepest truth today, even if it means losing everything - your pride, your status, your image, your way of life.

For the lies, the half-truths and the burden of unspoken things will eventually suffocate you and everyone around you.

Know that you can only lose what's non-essential, anyway.

Give up everything
for a truthful existence.

The Touch So Vital~
Though my arms
cannot hold you,
nor console you,

let’s each reach out anyway
with a roaring river of faith,
knowing that love sent

flows to you, through you
out to the world and back
home again, your arms,

my arms, the Beloved’s
arms, all encircling
each of us in a woolen

blanket of social embrace,
so that yet though our distance
is physical, our presence

with each of us is the vital touch,
our hearts are longing to hold.~

PS Holding you in love and gentle intention... my sweet sweet love... be safe be safe

Falling apart, holding it all together. Then falling apart, then holding all together again. Cycles of integration and disintegration. Chaos and cohesion. Stillness and rest. As with the ocean, the stars, the sun, and the moon, love is pouring through you, washing away everything that is less than whole, preparing you for what is next. But what is next is always of the unknown and never understood ahead of time by means of the conceptual.

Look carefully and see that you can never truly 'fall apart,' because you were never 'together' to begin with. You are the vast space in which 'together' and 'apart' dance in union in the world of time and space. Please don't forget what you are.

If you remain too identified with the falling apart, you disintegrate; you lose contact with the radiance within you, and you become misattuned to the unfolding of your somatic experience, which is the movement of pure, luminous wisdom. You forget how intelligent and how creative it is inside you, and that you are never, ever in need of fixing. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns inside you.

But if you remain too identified with holding it all together, you disconnect from your vulnerability, you turn from the wild reality that your heart could break at any moment. You forget that it is through your brokenness that your gifts pour into this world. You forget that each and every crack in your heart is an illumined portal through which the poetry of your life will flow.

Right in the middle of falling apart and holding it together is the secret place. Stay there. For it is there where the light and the dark are in union, where integration and disintegration emerge as one in love, and where lunar and solar weave together the particles of the sacred world.

I love you...

Another letter for you...

Someone who I feel with my heart and soul, someone who I just adore and love so much.

I feel so heartbroken that I could never tell you how much you just your being means to me... but I still shine and smile and feel full of life. And I know why.... this is love. Pure unconditional devotion. Where it would have been just the fulfillment of this eternal yearning to have you feel the same... the yearning itself is also love. The heartbreak is also love... the feeling to just hold you in my arms and kiss you softly is also love. To know and respect and acknowledge that you are not mine is also love.

To not look at you as much as I want to is also love.  To wish you well and pray from afar and in silence for you is also love. To see how full of love and goodness you are is also love. To know that I could walk through a wall of fire if it meant your wellbeing is also love. To try and get involved with another though none will ever have my heart just so I can try and forget you is also love.

Actually, now my whole life is a testament of just how I love you... the joy that I may give others is your love. If someone feels happy because of me is just the love I feel for you.... I am nothing now just the love I have in my heart for you.

I wish I could be the cup that you sip tea from, I wish I could be the socks that keep your feet warm, I wish I could be the little child who you hug haha (so at least I could feel your touch) I wish I could be the vest that keeps your chest warm. I wish I could be the bird on your window I would sing you a sweet song. Know just know that you are loved beyond measure beyond reason, deeply, silently, calmly, smilingly, sometimes even through tears... you are LOVED!

Love is a beautiful exchange.

But somewhere down the track it may not seem like it any more. Maybe the feeling of being in love is not the same as it used to be. Perhaps one person in the relationship had become guarded and has their heart partially closed. Or possibly there are emotional wounds that are beginning to fester and causing a division. But that doesn’t stop love. …

Love remains a beautiful exchange.

And the soul knows it. If two people recognize that it was love that brought them together in the first place, and if they really want the relationship to succeed and are prepared to do the soul work together, then that’s enough for the miracle of love to blossom. Nothing is too difficult for love. …

Love continues to be a beautiful exchange.

Despite the fact that no relationship is perfect, love is. At the core of love is selflessness. It’s the desire to give out of our wholeness, without being concerned about what’s-in-it-for-me. And the more we understand that love is who we are, that it freely flows to us from a divine source, our eyes will be opened to see the magnificence of giving without concern for what we get back in offering our heart. …

Love will forever be a beautiful exchange.

These are days

These are days you'll remember
Never before and never since
I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it
You'll know it's true
That you are blessed and lucky
It's true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow in you, in you

These are days you'll remember
When May is rushing over you with desire
To be part of the miracles you see in every hour
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky
It's true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you

These are days

These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break
These days you might feel a shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It's true
You'll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you

https://music.amazon.in/albums/B002FTK6B2?trackAsin=B002FTK6CG&ref=dm_sh_5941-acc1-dmcp-9598-3676d&musicTerritory=IN&marketplaceId=A21TJRUUN4KGV

In sacred union we grow as one.~

Sometimes one will be more mature in one area than the other and that is when we encourage growth and not tear down or belittle. We compassionately hold space as the other catches up. As twin flames we share the core wound, meaning there was a childhood trauma that manifested the same wound, but is often handled with polar coping mechanisms.

While one may turn hard and become hardened and avoidant of love, the other may turn soft and become softer and addicted to love. Yet these two different expressions of the same wound are still rooted in abandonment and fear of being abandoned again. One pushes love away in order to be in control and the other latches on to love in order to be in control.

However, the cure is the same. To let love enter and love deeply. But how can we let love in when we are afraid of love in case it can be taken from us? And how can we let love in and actually keep it without becoming too attached and push it away with fear? We have to learn to see our inner child in ourselves and each other.
And parent ourselves and the partner when triggered and hurting.

How would you treat a child that is afraid?
How would you show a child it is safe?
How would you love a child so it knows unconditional love?

This is how we must learn to love ourselves and our partners.
To care for our inner child and theirs from the embodiment of the divine parent.
To love like God loves is divine.
And it is possible with mindfulness and emotional healing to get to this place.

The next time you have a fight with your partner, swallow your pride and need to be right. Be loving. Be gentle. Be kind.

Ask them, how can I best love you right now? How can I show up for you in this moment? Then create a safe container for sharing traumas, fears and concerns without the threat of abandonment.
Without violent communication.
Peacefully negotiate a compromise through navigating and communicating.

This is how we create sacred union.
This is how we heal deep trauma.
This is how we truly love deeply.
This is how we"re rewarded with the deepest intimacy.

STAGES OF LOVE !! 💟💟

Love can exist in three ways:

The first is love as a relationship. One is loving only to a certain person, and that too at certain moments. When the person agrees with you, is according to you, is fulfilling your expectations, when he is just a shadow to you and you can possess him, then you are loving.

There are a thousand and one conditions in relationships. The moment any single condition is not fulfilled love disappears. Love turns into hatred any moment. The same person for whom you would have died -- you can kill him. So that is the lowest kind of love, love as relationship.

Next comes the second kind of love. It is not a relationship; one is simply loving. It has nothing to do with somebody in particular, one is loving whether one is alone or with someone. One is loving with the trees, with the river, with the mountains. Sitting alone in one's room one is loving. Then love is just like the fragrance of a flower -- whether somebody is present or not does not matter.

This is transforming love from something very ordinary and animal into something extraordinary and human. Now love becomes a quality.

There is one stage more, higher than that, but first one has to attain this second. And the second is the most important, even more important than the third, the highest, because once the second is there the third is bound to follow. You need not do anything about it.

The first is love as a relationship, the second is lovingness and the third is when one becomes love itself, so one is not even conscious that one is loving. In the second there is consciousness a certain self-consciousness that one is loving. That is the only flaw left. But you cannot remove it yourself, because if you do then again you will be there. Then more self-consciousness will arise: 'Look how great I am -- I have removed the last flaw! Now I am love, pure love.' But that 'I' is still there.

You cannot do anything; once you have attained to the second, you have to wait for the third -- it comes as a gift from God. It always comes. You deserve it because you have attained the second. Then one day suddenly the self-consciousness disappears and only pure love is left. Everybody will feel it; only you will not be conscious of it. And the more you are without self-consciousness, the more others will feel it.

So attain the second, and leave the third for God.