Hello, my love! So, today it is exactly one year of my heart and dreams being broken into a trillion pieces! Yet here I am, alive, smiling, happy (sometimes sad) ... you know why? Because I love you... :)
I remember the three days after this day one year ago, I just lay in bed, crying, didnt eat bathe felt like I had died. And how my Father held me in His embrace... He let me vent and fight with Him... and on the 4th day, He just gently picked me up and siad enough, get up and I did. Can I ever thank Him enough for being there for me? My joy and my smile is my thanks to Him.
And you... you who I just love with all my heart and soul, I had hoped body too. But that didnt happened. You who I don't even look at as much as I would like to. Because I know my eyes will give my love away... and now this love is just for me and the whole world, but cannot express to you. So you know what I did? I turned all this love towards myself and started treating myself the way I would have loved you. Because I want this love even if it has broken my heart to be my strength, my smile never ever my weakness (it is sometimes my tears, when I cry and cry but it is only love that I cannot give you so it flows from my eyes). Love is love even when it is not reciprocated. I mean you are a beautiful soul, and I cannot deny seeing that even if you are not part of my life. A good person will always be a good person. And our hearts should be big enough to acknowledge that.
I pray that you never ever know because I would never want you to feel sad in anyway and oh please never feel sorry for me. If anything, be proud of me. That even if I have mothing, I still hope and pray and smile and dance. That I have the courage to keep my heart open. That I trust in love, goodness, smiles, and have faith in everything working out the way it is meant to. Even if we dont always understand it.
And you know how I sit sedately when you are near when all I want to is run and hug you haha I imagine your look if I ever did that. But I never will as your dignity means so much to me. But sometimes I look at you and just want to kiss your nose and bite your hands lolol. I am so grateful for this safe space where I can record my feelings quietly so my heart lightens.
So when the desire to love you just makes me burst I kiss my palms and pray... for your happiness in every sphere of life, for your family as I know how much their well being means to you... I pray that you never have a sad moment and even if you do you always find the strength to live through them, that each day of your life is simple, peaceful, filled with smiles and delightful moments.
I hope my love reaches you without you knwoing its me and it makes you feel just so good about yourself, makes you walk tall and fill your heart with love.
I just love you!
I remember the three days after this day one year ago, I just lay in bed, crying, didnt eat bathe felt like I had died. And how my Father held me in His embrace... He let me vent and fight with Him... and on the 4th day, He just gently picked me up and siad enough, get up and I did. Can I ever thank Him enough for being there for me? My joy and my smile is my thanks to Him.
And you... you who I just love with all my heart and soul, I had hoped body too. But that didnt happened. You who I don't even look at as much as I would like to. Because I know my eyes will give my love away... and now this love is just for me and the whole world, but cannot express to you. So you know what I did? I turned all this love towards myself and started treating myself the way I would have loved you. Because I want this love even if it has broken my heart to be my strength, my smile never ever my weakness (it is sometimes my tears, when I cry and cry but it is only love that I cannot give you so it flows from my eyes). Love is love even when it is not reciprocated. I mean you are a beautiful soul, and I cannot deny seeing that even if you are not part of my life. A good person will always be a good person. And our hearts should be big enough to acknowledge that.
I pray that you never ever know because I would never want you to feel sad in anyway and oh please never feel sorry for me. If anything, be proud of me. That even if I have mothing, I still hope and pray and smile and dance. That I have the courage to keep my heart open. That I trust in love, goodness, smiles, and have faith in everything working out the way it is meant to. Even if we dont always understand it.
And you know how I sit sedately when you are near when all I want to is run and hug you haha I imagine your look if I ever did that. But I never will as your dignity means so much to me. But sometimes I look at you and just want to kiss your nose and bite your hands lolol. I am so grateful for this safe space where I can record my feelings quietly so my heart lightens.
So when the desire to love you just makes me burst I kiss my palms and pray... for your happiness in every sphere of life, for your family as I know how much their well being means to you... I pray that you never have a sad moment and even if you do you always find the strength to live through them, that each day of your life is simple, peaceful, filled with smiles and delightful moments.
I hope my love reaches you without you knwoing its me and it makes you feel just so good about yourself, makes you walk tall and fill your heart with love.
I just love you!
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